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Humor


Moderators: [HLC2]Trooper82, [HLC²] Reklus, [HLC²]CaptPayn, [HLC²]Lion, Canuckles, Gramps, viper452, Stupacalypto, bow, [HLC²]BBD, [HLC2]nihlist, hlcbow

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Gramps

Wed Feb 06 2008, 02:25PM

Registered Member #7

Joined: Sun Aug 05 2007, 10:54PM
Posts: 18

ALL GRANDPAS, HEED THIS WARNING :

Do NOT lose your Grand kids in the Mall

A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall.

He approached a uniformed policeman and said, 'I've lost my grandpa!'

The cop asked, 'What's he like?'

The little boy hesitated for a moment and then replied,

'Crown Royal whiskey and women with big tits.'

Pandamonia

Wed Feb 06 2008, 04:51PM

Registered Member #53

Joined: Tue Feb 05 2008, 05:09PM
Posts: 1

lol

Gramps

Fri Jul 11 2008, 06:13PM

Registered Member #7

Joined: Sun Aug 05 2007, 10:54PM
Posts: 18

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too....'

THAT is when the fight started.....

[HLC2]Trooper82

Fri Jul 11 2008, 09:04PM

Registered Member #1

Joined: Sun Jul 29 2007, 11:03PM
Posts: 43

Good one!

[HLC²]CaptPayn

Fri Jul 11 2008, 09:21PM

[HLC²] "The Game!!!"

Registered Member #3

Joined: Wed Aug 01 2007, 08:23PM
Posts: 25

ROFL that's too funny Gramps. Now was that a true story about ya?

He who dies with the most toys, still dies!!!
Capt. Payne the original

Gramps

Fri Jul 11 2008, 10:47PM

Registered Member #7

Joined: Sun Aug 05 2007, 10:54PM
Posts: 18

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive. So, I took her to a gas station...

THAT is when the fight started....

**********************************************************************
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed. 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'Oh my gawd!' says my wife. 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

THAT is when the fight started.....

**********************************************************
Not paying enough attention to the road as I went to work, I accidentally rear-ended a car this morning.

There we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
Well, I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

THAT is when the fight started.....!

hlcbow

Tue Jul 29 2008, 06:48PM

Registered Member #83

Joined: Mon Jul 28 2008, 05:57PM
Posts: 2

im finally able to log onto this website!!!!!!!nice!!!!! hey troop....give me some admin rights so i can check out them pic's that payne posted...thanks bro!